During the holiday season, I always find myself reflecting over the previous year. It’s a time to look at the big picture and really take in all life’s milestones over the last 12 months—career, personal, family and relationship wise. It’s nice to also think about where we’ll be in 365 days, too.
If you’ve been following along, you know that my high school sweetheart S and I got engaged this past August. You can read more about the absolutely amazing day here. I still have butterflies thinking about it!
The last few months have been some of the most exciting and love-filled ones we’ve ever experienced. Wedding planning and marriage preparation has been such a fun ride to be on. S is my best friend, so it makes sense that everything seems to just be falling place stress-free. Of course, our support system within our friends, my dad and his parents has been an enjoyable aspect too.
Most our ‘check list’ items [like nailing down a DJ, finding the dress, deciding on a venue, picking a date] have been honestly.. pretty simple. With all the online resources nowadays [vendor comparisons, reviews, dress look-books, etc.], you can really nail down a lot of decisions from the comfort of your couch. Very… Millennial, ha! S and I are both very thorough and decisive people. So when we pull the trigger on a decision, we 100% know it was the right one so maybe that helps with planning too [since there are hundreds of thousands of options and ideas for everything].
With that being said, there’s one piece of the marriage puzzle that wasn’t as easy as a simple check off the list. This time next year, will I have an entirely new name?!
While traditional norms may make you think, “Mindy you’re silly for putting that much thought into something so obvious”, making a decision to change your entire identity isn’t a small decision to make. With S and I dating almost nine years, you’d think I’d have put some thought into this even before we were engaged. And honestly—I did think about it from time to time! I suppose I thought that once the time actually comes to make the decision, I’d know which felt the most like “me”. I always used to think “If your parents spend nine months thinking of your name, why should you feel required to change it?!”.
To me, my last name represents more than just something I’ve been called for 25 years. I’m proud to be a Thompson. I’m proud to have so many of my father’s qualities. I’m proud of the morals he’s instilled in me. I’m proud when someone in my small hometown hears my last name and asks if I’m “Ed’s daughter” or “Arthur’s granddaughter”. My dad is my best friend and Thompson is a part of my identity, so thinking of throwing my last name away to replace it with another sparks a lot of different emotions.
Another thing to consider is my career. I’ve built a reputation in the Boston marketing/tech community as ‘Mindy Thompson’. Plus, this entire nook of the Internet. While I’ve kept my last name out of social handles and most blog related items for greater privacy, it’s still something to consider. If you have a business built upon your last name, this honestly ties into a business decision for you too.
Then there’s the flip side. I’m so excited to be S’ wife. I absolutely adore every piece of him. He’s my better half and I would be so proud to identify myself with his last name. Being “The Servello’s” gives me a sense of unity… one team… family. Sharing one name almost makes your marriage seem more “pinch me real.” Also, being the planner I am.. the effect on our [future] children needs to be considered, which is an entirely different ball game when thinking about this! It’s much more practical and easy on them if we’re a one-name household.
So with that and many months of debating my options, I wanted to share what’s been on my mind because I know there are other women out there contemplating the same thing. In today’s world, women have so many options to consider! I wanted to share 5 naming conventions to consider for marriage. While there are other people that will be affected [husband, children, families], it’s YOUR identity and you should be happy with your decision.
1. Keep Your Given Name
2. Take on Husband’s Name
3. Take Spouse’s Name Legally, Keep Yours Professionally
4. Incorporate Maiden Name into Middle Name
5. Create a New Name by Hyphenating
After weighing my options, I’m pretty sure I’ll be doing option four. I’ll legally move my maiden name into my middle name while also taking on S’ last name. That way I still have my dad’s name to carry with me and I have the new chapter of my life with S represented as well. I haven’t yet decided what I’ll go by professionally, but I still have some time to decide ;-).
With that said, it’ll require a lot of paperwork. My friends that have recently married have said that legally changing your name is such a headache and once it’s finally done, you’ll be so happy. That’s why I was so excited to find HitchSwitch, which is an online service that makes name-changing for newlyweds painless by eliminating forms and filling out paperwork. If you’re a bride-to-be and tend to avoid paperwork and long lines at all costs like me, this service is for you!
HitchSwitch offers three different unique name changing experiences to fit your needs:
1. Print@Home: Sorta like the “Hey tell me what I need, but I can execute” option. Just complete the EasyForm which takes three minutes. Then you can access everything you need from a personal dashboard. You can print, prepare and send in your forms. I think this is the option I’m going to choose!
2. Full Service: Most popular package: After completing the EasyForm, you’ll receive your paperwork in the mail completely filled out by HitchSwitch! Just sign and send them in.
3. Platinum Full Service: This package includes everything about, but you’ll also get assistance from your Personal Name Change Concierge anytime and a free passport photo.
Whether you’re adjusting your middle name to reflect your maiden, or just taking on your husband’s last name – HitchSwitch is such a helpful service. Check out their video for more details. I know come this time next year, I’ll avoid all the paperwork hassle and just utilize their services!
If you’re a bride-to-be or married, did you decide to change your name? Also, if you are married do you wish a service like HitchSwitch was there for you to reduce the legality headache of changing your name?
Thanks so much for reading. Xoxo Mindy
Thank you to HitchSwitch for sponsoring this post. All thoughts and opinions are authentically my own.
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I had the exact same debate, I wasn’t sure at all what I wanted to do and honestly had really similar reasons! In my family the women make their maiden name their middle name as a tradition, and pretty much decided immediately that I wanted to do that! I’m so proud of being a Vickney, but am ready to be “The Beine’s” come next October!
I have also had a really similar wedding planning process, we’ve been able to decide and get what vendors we wanted! So excited for you, congratulations again!
xoxo
Ashley | A Blonde & A Briefcase
Hi Ashley – That’s so cute that the women in your family have that as a tradition. You are all still tied together 🙂 Until doing my research, I had no idea this was a more prominent option for changing your name after marriage than I thought.
I’m so happy to hear that your wedding planning is going smoothly. It’s such a fun time!! Xoxo Mindy
Congratulations girl! It was also hard for me to make the decision to change my name. I kept going back and forth between keeping my name and changing it. I finally decided to change it! LOL
-Nataly
HAHA! It’s such a big decision! So happy you came to a decision 🙂 Thanks for reading. Xoxo Mindy
It’s definitely a big decision to make! I also chose to keep my former last name as a second middle name.
By Lauren M
I used HitchSwitch when we got married and it made it so easy!
xo, kate
fortheloveoffancy.com
I wish I would have had this when we got married! I kept it all, so my name is: first, middle, maiden, married and it’s SO long that I need a two line social security card -oops!
xx Nina
http://www.thehssfeed.com
Hi Nina – Haha! Hey It may be a long name, but you’re unique! I’m so happy to have HitchSwitch to help me in legally adjusting my name. Thanks for ready! Xo Mindy
A lot of my friends changed their middle name to their maiden name and took their husband’s last name. That way they can be known as whatever last name they like professionally and personally!
Greta | http://www.gretahollar.com
Hi Greta – thanks for reading! Yes this is such a great approach and I am excited to have both my maiden and (future) husband’s name incorporated, just liek your friends! Xo Mindy
Such a great idea for when I get married! I will have to check them out!
xoxo
Sarah Lindner
http://www.thehouseofsequins.com
this has been a reoccurring conversation in my relationship & after having just lost my father, my feelings of keeping my last name have been confirmed…so I was looking for ways to incorporate my future hub’s & I love your ideas! x, nicole // http://www.nicoleeigh.com
Nicole – I am so sorry for the loss of your father! That will definitely bring in a lot of emotions for you while making a decision. I’m so happy your found this post helpful. Xo Mindy
Girl, I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and Paul and I aren’t even engaged. It’s crazy because it seems like such a minor detail, but it’s actually a pretty big deal and there are more options than I thought there were when I was like 12. Good luck with all of your wedding details.
I have heard about hitchswitch and I think I will be using it. I got married 2 weeks ago but haven’t changed my last name anywhere except FB yet.
My boyfriend and I recently became engaged and I too have thought about whether or not to change my last name. My dad and mom had two daughters so there is no one to “carry on” my dad’s last name in the traditional sense. I hadn’t thought about incorporating my maiden name into my middle name, but I really like that idea. Definitely gave me another option to consider.
I love option 4! I have an uncommon, unique last name so I want to hold onto it, but taking on my boyfriend’s shorter, easier name will reduce complications for me! My boss did option 3, and it’s worked out great for her so people always recognize her professionally, but she and her children all share a last name. Love the idea of HitchSwitch too, thank you for sharing!
Hey if you love yours, no need to change right?! Your last name IS so unique! So glad to hear that option three has wokred for other people. My previous boss actually did the same thing too! It’s nice having the same last name as your children and it’s almost a different persona you hold when you go home. Such a great idea! Thanks for reading. Xoxo Mindy
This is so helpful!!!
Where was this when I got married?! There are so many options and instructions and it’s all so confusing!
Maggie
http://www.polishedclosets.com
Haha! I know! HitchSwitch will be SUCH a life saver. All my friends that have already been married said the same thing when I shared them this service. Thanks for reading. Xoxo Mindy
Such great tips! I need to bookmark this for when I find me a man! 😉
xox
Emily
http://thestylehuntblog.com
I never did change my name but this seems like it would make the process a lot easier!
I hink I am doing number three but haven’t totally decided still lol
Rachel | The Confused Millennial
What an exciting time for you, I miss the days of wedding planning! It goes by fast, enjoy it girl!
Thanks McKenna! It’s such a fun time. It’s alreayd going past SO fast! Thanks for reading. Xoxo Mindy
Such an informative post, thanks for sharing!
Such an interesting topic, good to know for the future!
http://www.kayleighskloset.com
I seriously can’t believe they have something like this!! It is so amazing! Thanks so much for sharing!
My mom kept her name when she married my dad and my parents gave me a hyphenated name… since I have a long first name I’ve always hated my super long names lol!! If I get married someday I think I’m going to make my mom’s last name my middle and take my husband’s name. But probably keep my weird unique maiden name for my professional career. We will see. Great post and great topic Mindy!!!
xoxo A
http://www.southernbelleintraining.com
Hi Annaliese – Oh that’s so interesting! I always wonder what people do come marriage time when their parents gave them a hyphenated name. That’s such a unique perspective to have. It’s great that we all have so many options this day in age!! Thanks for reading. Xoxo Mindy
Such an informative post! I never thought about any of these options other than the traditional way!
What great ideas! I always just thought of dropping my last name and taking on my future husband’s but this post has given me options!
Silvia
http://www.lovelysilvia.com
Hi Silvia – So happy that this post opened up to a few other options you have. Takin on your future husbands is always a great choice though! Thanks for reading. Xoxo Mindy
I was married this June and I still haven’t done a thing in the change my name department! I absolutely adore my last name and while I love my husband, I don’t really love his last name lol. My last name is Patrick and my husband’s is Pounch (pronounced punch) and I just can’t decide what to do! Maybe one day I’ll decide. Happy planning! 🙂
Hey girl – if you love yours there is not shame in keeping your own! It’s cute that your initials won’t change either way too! I’m like.. Am I ready for a whole new monogram haha! Thanks for reading. Xoxo Mindy
Changing my name was honestly the craziest experience ever! I used HitchSwitch too which helps SO much with all the big stuff – but there are SO MANY OTHER PLACES you need to change it! It can get overwhelming, so I just did it little by little! I’ve been married for a year and a half and still run across places I haven’t changed it yet!
Hi Christina – So happy to hear you used HitchSwitch and enjoyed their service! I can’t even think of all the place our names will need to be changed! It’s so funny that you’re still running across places, haha! Thanks for reading. Xoxo Mindy
I definitely need to bookmark this for when it’s time for me to change my last name!
xo Kelsey | http://www.chasingcinderellablog.com
What an awesome post! I took my husbands last name, but these are all such awesome ideas!
My maiden name is now my middle name!
Coffee Beans and Bobby Pins
What an interesting post! Even though I am far from getting married, I love the idea of changing my last name to my husband’s although I know people who have done all of your 5 options!
xoxo,
Katie
chicincarolina.blogspot.com
Wow this is a lot to digest! It would be so hard to decide which way to go. Thanks for the knowledge!
I have been thinking of that lately too! If you start to build your brand and business do you change your name?
Hard being a boss lady! 🙂 LOL
Love this post!
xoxo
Krista
http://www.hundredblog.com
I should have used this when I got married!
cristin
http://www.thesouthernstyleguide.com | @thesouthernstyleguide
Such a thoughtful post! This is super easy to do too! xoxo
Samantha
http://www.findingfabulousonline.com
Love your thoughts and ideas on this. PLUS love your ring. OMG so good.
Those mirrors are gorgeous!! I need one!
Jenna from http://www.visionsofvogue.com
I kept both my last name and added my husband’s. He’s my high school sweetheart too! Congrats!
this post was exactly me! I decided with option 4, but did not hyphen my name, I changed my last name to my middle and took my husbands last name! It s such a process to go through!
xx,
Stesha
I had such a hard time with the idea of changing my name and actually still haven’t done it legally! At this point I just didn’t want the headache but this service is kind of amazing.m tbh. Thanks for sharing!
what a unique and interesting post!! Will definitely be coming back to this when I get married 🙂
These photos are gorgeous
xo, L
livingincolorblog.com
@livingincolorblog on IG
I am SO happy I read this post because I’m getting married in 25 days and still am so torn as to what I will do with my name! I LOVE my last name and echo that same feeling when someone asks if your so and so’s daughter, because I’m proud of my long last name and the history and heritage that it represents. I think I will change my name legally but keep my maiden name for professional work. So many decisions!
this was a perfect read for me! I’m newly engaged too and have been thinking about HitchSwitch! I’m also definitely thinking about the maiden name as a middle name option.
Thanks so much for explaining all the possibilities to me!
Happy Holidays!
XO Sahra
Que Sera Sahra
Ah, thank you so much for sharing! I got married in September and still haven’t gotten around to changing my name (shh don’t tell!) ha! http://www.heartofchic.com
I took my hubby’s name legally and still use my maiden name professionally, but mainly because I’m a full time blogger and literally EVERYTHING would change and get wonky and difficult changing handles etc. Plus, I thought of it as a safety thing for our future gifts. I don’t want THEIR last name everywhere! So for me it was maiden for my public presence and his for everything else. What a handy tool to help with the process though!!
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